Category Archives: funnies

We’re all crazy: A list to minimizing that

Hi there. Like most of my fellow humans, I’m a complete fucking neurotic. I’m prone to bouts of insecurity, self-loathing, social anxiety, nihilism, and depression. I’m aware of global warming, the reality of mass consumerism and the growing disparity between … Continue reading

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Getting started

Finally getting started on the novel. Gonna join the ranks of my other creative-but-not-quite-artistically-inclined-and-oh-so-special peers. I won’t forget to drop said novel into every social conversation I have from this moment on. I’ll complain about how soul-crushing the process is. … Continue reading

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this revolutionary

Has anyone asked Sean Paul, sultry dancer and hair icon, for his commentary on the new marijuana laws?

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Shia Labeouf….

…really triggers my codependent tendencies. Call me when you get out of jail, bad boy. I think my loooove could fix you.

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Frolic in Snoop’s Pollen

stroke ivory keys fornicate springtime mammals existence: fleeting

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Favorite Break Up Songs

I hate say it, folks, but I’m nearing the end of my break up sadness. Only took a little less than five months! What a coincidence this coincides with the solstice, right? To celebrate the end of the winter, I’d … Continue reading

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Strumming my pain with her magic fingers

Lauryn Hill, get out of my head. You witch! You all-seeing goddess! PS- Whoever he was (ok, Wyclef Jean), I’m sure you are MUCH better off. PPS- By the time this is all done, at least I’ll have a binder … Continue reading

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10 Early Stages of a Breakup

1. Shock/Anger “You wanna break up? Fine! I wanna break up more!“ Typically involves hashing out the bad behavior of the ex to friends coupled with feelings of relief and hope for the future. Which brings us to the next … Continue reading

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Fantasy vs Reality: Jobs

Jobs I’ve dreamed of holding down: Supermodel Astronaut Novelist Cult Leader Wellness Coach Actress Social Worker Philosophy Professor Seamstress Copywriter Graphic Designer Photographer Vs. Jobs I’ve actually worked: Babysitter House slave Pizza Hut Cashier Bank Teller AP Clerk for govt … Continue reading

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Cover Letter: Realistic

Dear Hiring Manager, I came across your career listing on monster/career builder/craigslist. Well, yours and several others I haphazardly opened up in convenient separate tabs. After checking my facebook, gmail, instagram, catching up on the hottest celebrity gossip, and arguing with a … Continue reading

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