s. s. s. s. S. s. s. s. selfish

the machine ebbs and flows

each pump a regression

each second longer in slumber

Cementing his sentence

And pushing you further and further away

And I wait by the phone

with every nerve exposed

and my body on fire

For a message of love that’ll never come

A dog under the table 

feed me feed me

Feed me 

Feel me

Fill me.

Fuck me

Love me.

I am a monster

I am (((((your))))) monster

(come back)

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see

We are the broken ones

Of crooked bones

And fragile souls

An ear to the ocean

And a face to the sky

To let go is to burn up

And to hold on is to whither

And I’m here facing the void

Waiting for you to tell me what to do

Because I am a coward

And so are you

And we are all that’s left

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jam

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another jam

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Jam

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cut

I perform the cut

sporadically, but religiously

whenever I look behind

or within

or when I embrace the dark

you see, pain is fabricated

love is too

with careful training

we create homeostasis

magic is a filter

pairing well with dark

the ever so intoxicating pull

of the cosmic mirage

cut, cut, cut

and it grows back and withers

each time weaker and weaker

until fine baby strands remain

breaking off in the tiniest of breezes

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love is supernatural

to love is to believe 

in swirly twirly fairies

ghost ghouls and goblins

magic in the sunshine

and terror in the night

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grateful

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man

she posted a picture of her lover

asleep in their bed

his eyes closed in serene bliss

face toward the lens,

a witness to the tender vulnerability

and all I saw was a smelly man

mouth open

potentially soiling 

the delicate pillowcase

and this is why love evades me

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most

it has it turns

but it’s better than most

and the jazz carries through the kitchen

while you glow under the light

last year we were miles away

heads spinning from the beginnings

drunk on the chemicals

deluded with optimism

but we forged our solid ground

and I still find my home

in the freckle under your eye

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